and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I wish you could order shots online.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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