I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
All I want is dick and wine.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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