who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
