so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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