when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
