a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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