Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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