i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
