What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
