Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
