Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He passed out mid-signature
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
