i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
