It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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