His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
