Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
