hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
