That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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