I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
