your room smells of hookers.
And success
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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