OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I intend to get homeless drunk
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
