I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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