i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
worst night to have a conscience
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
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