I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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