i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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