You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
