I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
FUCK WHALES
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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