dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
