dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize