i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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