no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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