well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
