she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just invented taco cereal.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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