No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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