I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
