I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
