Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
