I wannas sexs uuuuu
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
