She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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