Where is the hickey?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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