So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
