He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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