I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
