he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize