Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
