I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
