he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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