I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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