Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
