Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
