She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
