I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize