butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
