actually, I'm a sock model
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
