How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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