i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
