I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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