Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
