OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
