is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Alive.
So much puke
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
