OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize