after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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