I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
