fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
