Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize