So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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