I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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